Beginning to Feel the BURN

Thursday, April 25, 2013

 

When we think of how our life, career and dreams will pan out, we often think of all the wonderful things that will happen to us and never really think of the reality. This is probably why there are millions of people in the world suffering from depression (One of the many reasons, I'm sure!). But then again, who really wants to think of the bad things or "REAL" things that might happen.

 

I have been performing music since I was 5 years old. I have always had a knack and talent for music and I knew at a VERY early age that music was going to be a big part of my life. In fact, I figured out when I was only a freshman in high school that I wanted to be a teacher, a band director specifically.

 

I was VERY ACTIVE in sports, clubs and pretty much everything in Junior High and High School but through all the things I did, I never received the personal attention and care that I needed and DESERVED until I was in band. I was part of the volleyball, basketball and many other sports teams where I was just part of the team but the coach or sponsor never really focused on me. When I was in band as a 6th through 8th grader just learning how to play the saxophone my band directors would stay late into the afternoon to help me and some of my peers. They would help use learn songs we were playing in band class as well as help us prepare for other solo performing opportunities. Often times when my dad would come and pick me up from the band hall, all of the other teachers were long gone and sometimes even the principals and administration would be gone as well. My band teachers really took the time to help their students. I learned as a freshman in high school as my Volleyball coach left in her convertible before my dad even picked me up from a 4:30 practice that I wanted to take the time to help students just like my band director did. He had touched my life and made me feel like somebody important, just by being there for me and taking the time to HELP me. I knew right then and there that I was supposed to do that too.

 

From that day forward, I have had the blinders on and been on what I thought would be a path towards greatness in a career of Music Education. I went to OU in Norman, OK and was so determined to "get out there" and teach band that I took a 140+ credit hour degree that is usually completed in 5+ years and gradated in 4 years. In fact I was one of only a handful of OU Music Ed graduates EVER to do so. I just wanted to teach SO BAD!

 

I graduated from OU in May of 2005 and in June I was offered a job teaching at "Smalltown" , OK (Name to remain secret...). I would be teaching K-12 Music and Band. I was THE music department. It was a very small class C school in Eastern Oklahoma with an entire school enrollment of only 400. I taught elementary music, beginning band, intermediate band, marching band and even Jazz Band. But even after just 1 year, I was wanting more from my career and wanted to get closer to my home of Norman, OK. I got married in the spring of 2006 and in June 2006 I was offered a new job at a small school in a suburb of OKC.

 

I stayed at that job for 5 years and while there I had many emotions about the position itself as well as my career. There were days where I was elated with excitement about teaching elementary music and middle school band there and then there were days where, once again, I was left with a  desire with wanting more with my Music Education career. After my 4th year of teaching there, I tried to look for a job teaching High School Band so I could get that much needed experience of Marching Band. In 2008-2009, I decided to go ahead and start my graduate degree and attained a Master's of Music in 2009. At this time I still wanted to one day be able to teach at the collegiate level and get a PhD in Music or Music Education.

 

In 2009 I was blessed with our beautiful daughter Natalie Grace and my momentum took a slight turn as my heart was more with Natalie than with my career. But even with my blinders taken off for a short amount of time while she was a baby, I still desired to do more with my career. In 2009, Chris was laid-off from his business job and we began down a long road to where we are today. I continued to teach at that small school in the OKC suburbs during 2009-2011 and those turned out to be the best years of my career. I was awarded "Teacher of the Year" for my school and even "Teacher of Today" for my county! Even though I was not at a large high school teaching Marching Band like I wanted I was still make an impact on the students lives at my school and I was still doing what I LOVE... Teaching BAND!

 

In 2010, Chris changed careers and he too got into education. I think he has a gift for teaching and he does really well with kids. Within a few months of searching for a job in Math, Chris was offered a job teaching HS Algebra at a LARGE district in the Houston metro area. And just like that my "perfect" little job of teaching band had disappeared. I had wanted all my life to come back to Texas and teach band and now, even though I was FINALLY content were I was in MY CAREER, I would  get the chance to do so.

 

In the summer of 2011 I was on a mad hunt for a band job in the Houston Metro area. I went on several interviews and some of them were very promising. Some were going to be a haul of a commute (1.5+ hours each way) but I would be teaching band. In late June I decided that I was more "marketable" in Elementary Music since I didn't have that much needed Marching Band experience. Within days of applying for Elementary Music positions, I was offered 5 different interviews and 3 jobs. My current job was offered to me only 3 hours after the interview. Clearly, I was correct in making myself marketable in Elementary Music. Luckily, I took the job I am currently at and I have LEARNED a lot!

 

However, my heart is still with band and I really, REALLY want to get back into the performance side of Music Education. I have taught Elementary music at EACH AND EVERY one of my jobs and positions over the past 8 years but my heart has still been with band. During the previous 2 years, I have discovered that I still long to be in the band directors chair. That is where my PASSION is.

 

I have been job hunting for the past 4 years in a row... each year looking for band jobs. I know and realize that the band jobs usually don't come open until late in the game (Late April until June) but as I sit here and reflect my current state of emotions I feel defeated as I only see 2 band jobs posted and they are already full. Even with a Master's degree, I have been over-looked in these positions. I am so discouraged with my current position and depressed that I have even looked at other Elementary Music positions and of the 4 I have seen available I have been over-looked there too.

 

I realize it is VERY early in the Job-Hunting game but I feel as if I am in a deep hole that I may not be able to climb out of. My hopes and dreams of teaching collegiate band have LONG vanished and I have settled in the head and dreams for just teaching HS band and now I am so discouraged and depressed, I just want to teach BAND... I don't care what level, I just want BAND!

 

As a Music Education student (Heck, even a regular Education student) they would warn us about the dreaded "Burn-Out". They would say "The first 5 years are always the hardest and once you get past those you should be fine". I am currently in my 8th year of teaching and for the first time EVER I am beginning to feel the BURN. I LOVE music and I LOVE kids and I want to be able to combine the two but somewhere along the way (In the past 2 years especially)... my passion has diminished. For example, I am currently taking 15 minutes out of my designated 45 to teach math or reading on a daily basis! My personal Music Ed philosophy is based around performance and I believe students learn best by doing. I am just NOT getting that from my current position. I could go into much greater detail about my current frustrations but that is not necessary to understand my frustrations and sadness to the whole situation.

 

I went on an interview last week and the results did not turn out how I had hoped or even imagined but I know everything happens for a reason. As always, I know God is trying to teach me something from this happening in my life, unfortunately, I just don't know what He is trying to teach me.

 

As a 16-17 year old I dreamed of a life with a big happy family (That part came true... I love you Chris, Natalie and Luke) and myself being a band director and living the "Good Life". Over the past 8 years that dream has drifted further and further away and I feel as if right now that dream has almost vanished. I have such mixed feelings and emotions about the whole situation and I currently don't even know how or what to feel. I covet your prayers...

 

 

Even in the midst of this trial...

 

GOD IS GOOD... ALL THE TIME!

7-7-7 years (and counting)

Monday, March 11, 2013

7 years I ago I bet on Chris and it has paid off BIG-TIME!

 

Today is Chris and my 7 year Wedding Anniversary! It is hard to believe that we have been married for 7 years! There are days where it seems like only yesterday! Then again, there are days I have a hard time remembering what it was like to NOT have kids! I have been blessed so much by Chris and I thank God for him each and EVERY single day! I do not deserve him and I he is such a gift from God. Thank you, Lord for my honey!

 

We decided this year we would go for an Anniversary trip. We originally wanted to go to Las Vegas but trying to find and nail down a babysitter for our two kiddos and then that match up with the traveling days available for REASONABLE travel prices were nearly impossible. We looked at other destinations but I kept thinking about how young my kids were and I just wanted to be near by. We were able to get my brother-in-law, John, and sister-in-law, Leeanna to keep our kids for 2 nights while we escaped across the State Line to Lake Charles, LA. This allowed us to visit L'auberge du lac Casino and Resort. This was AMAZING and such a rejuvenation from our busy teacher schedules followed by parent schedules. We were able to get away and just relax.

 

L'auberge du lac- Lake Charles, LA

 

 

L'aubrege is ABSOLUTELY amazing and I reccommend it for anyone looking for a nearby get-away and relaxation destination. We started off the trip by eating at the small cafe within the Casino called Cafe L'auberge. They were having an "All-you-can-Eat" Prime Rib special so we opted for that. I am not really a Red-meat eater... well I wasn't 7 years ago. That, along with many other things, I have changed since March 11, 2006. I even ordered this special and I completely finished one portion and tried to eat a 2nd! We gambled a little this night too and Chris was actually up after that night was finished. I on the other hand was in the RED! We did however, each win a free Buffet Coupon good for Monday.

 

On Monday, we slept late and then went out to get a few things like a bathing suit for me so we could relax at the pool. The temperatures were in the high 60s so we thought we would try to get in the pool or at least the hot-tub! We ate lunch at Jack Daniels Bar and Grill and we each had a burger (A VERY LARGE burger). I got the full-loaded Man's burger which had all types of fixins and even an onion ring it it! It was might tasty! After lunch we hit the hot-tub and pool area and stayed there (drink in hand) for a while. We finally came in around 5 pm to get ready for another evening of eating and entertainment.

 

My Burger... IT WAS HUGE!

 

The pool and Hot tub area... there was even a "Lazy River" area! So cool!

 

 

 

After cleaning up from the pool I wen to shop at all the small shops within the concourse of L'auberge. These shops were so cool but EXPENSIVE! I knew I would have to win BIG on the casino floor to even be able to buy something small from one of the stores. I saw a purse that looked just like some of the "Bedazzled" purses from Sam Moon with a Cross on it that was listed at $1450! REALLY?

 

After window shopping, I met up with Chris to got to the buffet for the Craw fish boil. This was really cool because I have eaten Craw fish before but not at a boil/ buffet type of setting. I learned really quickly that I REALLY like to eat Craw fish BUT I don't like all the work that is involved in getting to that small bite of meat. I also learned that these CAJUNS really go after getting to that piece of meat. There were people on each side of our table that were sucking out the heads and beating the body of the fish on their table. It was quite an ordeal! I had several Craw fish but then I headed to sample the many different desserts! These were really good and worth the time I spent cracking the Craw fish.

 

My buffet of DESSERTS! These were YUMMY!
(Notice the Craw fish Chris threw on my plate!)

 

 

After dinner we hit the Blackjack table again and Chris played for several hours... I just watched. I was not seeming to be able to win at anything so instead of making the typical gambler mistake of continuing to lose money... I QUIT. This is where I believe gambling is OK if and when you know when to walk away! I seriously did not play anymore the rest of the day/ night. Chris on the other hand won big and despite my terrible losses ($380), he was able to bring us out of the RED hole and into a winning amount. Thanks honey!

 

The key is KNOWING WHEN TO WALK AWAY!

 

ON Tuesday, we got up and checked out of the hotel and then went over to Isle of Capri to see what it was like. It was definitely a LOCAL casino. You could tell the clientele was different and less-class than that of L'auberge. But oddly enough that is where I came up out of my RED hole. I won $275 at Isle of Capri. I don't know what it is but I seem to do better at the "trashy" casinos than at the fancy ones. While we were in Vegas, I lost big at Bellagio, Cesear's and Mandalay Bay but WON lots as Harrah's and Boulder Station! Same thing while living in Shawnee and Oklahoma. I would win tons at Thunder Bird but then lose it all at River wind in Norman! I guess I belong with the Cajuns and locals when it comes to casinos!

 

We stopped around noon and headed towards Houston to go home to our babies! We stopped in Beaumont to eat lunch and then it was a race to get to hold and love on our kids! We got home around 430 where John, Leeanna, Jackie and our kids met us at the door (I don't know if this was a sign of tired-ness or excitement or both). We had an AMAZING trip and I would like to make L'auberge an ANNUAL thing! It was amazing!

 

A big thanks go out to John, Leeanna, Jackie and Dan for helping watch and take care of our kids to make this trip possible! We literally could not have done this without y'all! We love and thank y'all!

 

I am so lucky to have Chris in my life and as not only my husband but also my best friend! Words cannot describe my love and affection for him! I love you Chris and I cannot wait to spend 7 (no wait... 77! Inside joke! :) ) years with you!

 

 

 

God is good... ALL the time!

My Growing Boy: Month 9

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

 

My little man is 3/4 of a year! In 3 short months I will have a 1 year old boy! Crazy huh? This month has flown by too fast, as the spring months usually do. We have watched Luke crawl faster and FASTER across the floor and now he is even able to stand and balance on his own. He still needs to use something to pull himself up but he can balance for about 10-20 seconds at a time. I think as soon as he can stand on his own without any help he will be walking shortly after that!

Well Baby Visit
Tuesday, March 19th
Weight- 19.10 pounds (48 %)
Length- 29.5 inches (87%)
Head Circumference- 18 inches (66%)

 

 

Feeding

We are still on Nutramigen formula... FOR NOW!  We got the green light at his Well-Baby Check-up to ease off of the Nutramigen formula and get on to regular Cow's Milk Formula. We are going to start with Enfamil Gentle-lease formula and go from there. We have also taken him off the Reflux medicine and he seems to be doing fine. He is still eating solid meat, veggies and fruit but we have added snacks and bite size pieces of fresh fruit and meat as well. He likes to be able to pick these things up in his hands and eat them! I can tell he notices these things because he will look at our food and whine for whatever we are eating.

 

Sleeping

He is staying consistent and sleeping around 10-11 hours per night. He also takes about 1-2.5 naps during the day lasting anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours. He does still sleep in the swing during nap time and has a hard time taking a nap in the crib. As he continues to get bigger and bigger, I wonder how he will adjust when he HAS to nap in the crib. But... I am not going to worry about this just yet.

 

Playtime

This boy is IN TO EVERYTHING! He loves playing with the toys and he is so much more aware of the toys around him. He loves playing with the maracas and tambourine and has REALLY good beat. I used to joke with my percussion players about lack of beat and say "My dog has better beat that you do" (Oxford is pretty rhythmic) but now I can say that about Luke!

My little guy is getting so BIG and I cannot believe he is already 9 months old! I am so very blessed and I thank God for my little man EVERYDAY!

I love you Luke!

Standing and Cruising EVERYWHERE!

 

Absolutely PRICELESS!

 

God is good... ALL the time!

The Countdown is ON

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

52 days and Counting...

Today marks the 52nd pen-ultimate day until we are out for the summer (Well, Chris has a few more days that I do... HAHA!) It has been a crazy and hectic school year thus far and I have only been here since November due to Maternity leave. I hope and pray for a REALLY fast last 9 weeks and less chaos!

Last week during Spring Break my family and I had a wonderful time of rest, relaxation and little fun too! Unlike last Spring Break where we just sat around all week, this year we were able to take a short trip to get away, spend time with family and even have a few days to not do anything. I really enjoyed this year's Spring Break and it just reminds me of the much needed SUMMER BREAK coming (in 52 days)!

Saturday, March 9

Today my mom came into town after she dropped my dad off for a mission trip to Tanzania. They had to arrive at Bush Airport at 10 so by 10:30 she was already at our house! In fact, she made such good time getting here, she caught me at the final stage of my cleaning process. After this we went shopping at The Woodlands Mall with Natalie. This was really special because I have not been "shopping" (IE, clothes and personal shopping) since well before Thanksgiving/ Christmas break and since it was just the 3 girls it was neat to share this with my mom and Natalie.

That night Chris and I went to a "Celebrity Murder Mystery Dinner Theater" at The Spaghetti Warehouse in downtown Houston. This was something Chris has ALWAYS wanted to do but our circumstances never allowed! This was a BLAST! Chris even got to have a role in the play! I HIGHLY recommend it for anyone who enjoys a good show, laugh and dinner!

Chris as "Captain Cruise" in the show!

Sunday, March 10

Chris and I traveled to Lake Charles, LA for a 2 day trip to L'auberge du lac Casino and Resort. This was so neat because we were able to leave our kiddos with John and Leeanna so we could get a mini-vacation away together. In fact, we had not had a vacation away from our kids since... WE HAD KIDS! A HUGE BIG THANKS sent out to John and Leeanna for their help!

L'auberge is AMAZING! We had never been and had heard wonderful things about it but words could not describe. It really was a RESORT... filled with Pools, Jacuzzi, restaurants, shops and a casino all under one roof!

L'auberge du lac Casino and Resort (By the Pool)

Monday, March 11

This was our 7 year anniversary. On this day 7 years ago we were getting dressed and ready for the 1st day of the rest of our lives. It has been a glorious 7 years and I cannot wait for the next 77! 

We spent time at the Resort pool and jacuzzi, just enjoying each other and the beautiful weather. We also spent time in the casino as well as went to some excellent restaurants and buffets. I even went to my first "Craw fish Boil" at the Resort Buffet. This was a very interesting experience and I have to admit I LOVE craw fish but the work involved in getting to the tiny piece of meat is a little much for me. By the end of the day we were exhausted and headed up to the room for some rest and relaxation.

Tuesday, March 12

This was our last day at the Resort before we had to head home so we decided to sleep in as late as we could before we had to check out. We also decided we would go to the other Casino right there in Lake Charles called Isle of Capri. This was not near as nice as L'auberge but personally, I seemed to do better playing Blackjack here than at L'auberge (Part of this was due to the smaller minimum bet).

We left early-afternoon and were home by 4:30 or so. This was also Luke's 9 month Birthday so we spent some time playing and loving on him before I took his 9 month pictures. This little guy is growing up WAY TOO FAST!

My "little" boy... 9 months!

Wednesday, March 13

We started this day off with John, Leeanna and Jackie at Chick-fil-A for their awesome breakfast. Chris and I love Chick-fil-A breakfast but don't get it very often so this was a real treat. After that Natalie, Leeanna and I went out to do some errands and get a pedicure. This was so cool because Natalie got to go with us and watch us get the pedicure. I didn't let her get one because I thought she would not sit still and... I MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE! She is not quite ready.

That evening we went over to Dan and Jackie's house and had "Mexican Stack-up" and watched Survivor! This is a tradition of the Davis family and it was really good to spend time with John and Leeanna!

Thursday, March 14

Today we woke up late and then the kids and I did some errands around town so Chris could stay at home and finish the book series he has been reading for the last 15+ years. He had been catching up on the series and re-reading these books for about 3 months so I wanted to give him some time alone to read. The kids and I went and made some returns and did other errands before meeting Chris for Brunch at The Egg and I restaurant. It was Yummy!

Friday, March 15

We tried to go to the Zoo today... WE TRIED! We didn't wake up as early as we had hoped and then we got caught in HEAVY traffic on I-45 due to a wreck (AT 10:30am). So the normal 1 hour commute to south Houston turned into a 1 hour 45 minute commute. Then by the time we got there around noon, the rest of Houston were there with us. I swear it was as busy as I have EVER seen it. We drove around looking for a parking space for nearly 30 minutes before deciding to go elsewhere. We tried to locate a park to have a picnic in and quickly realized we were not in the GOOD part of Houston so we turned around to go back home to our favorite park in The Woodlands, North Shore Park.

This was awesome because Luke had not been to the park and he really enjoyed it! He loved the "Big Boy Swing" and would cry if he got him out of it! Natalie loved the picnic and played on the playground for a while. We were even able to feed the ducks!

Luke LOVED this swing!

Saturday, March 16

We went to Drew's birthday in the morning. This was really cool because Drew lives next to Dan and Jackie and we were able to grow close to his family while living there. In fact, Jessica, Drew's mom, and I were both due on June 19, 2012. Jessica had Kate on June 5 and I had Luke on June 12. This is really special and having kids the same age is nice as well. Natalie was able to swing at a pinata, get in the fire truck and play in a bouncy house.

Luke and Kate born 1 week apart! They are getting SO big!

Natalie in the Fire Truck (This is a big accomplishment since she usually is scared to death of them!)

Luke playing outside

We ate lunch with Dan and Jackie and spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing and sleeping at home. We decided to go to Chuy's for dinner and then go and get a Blizzard from Dairy Queen afterwards (It's Spring Break... To heck with diets!)

Sunday, March 17

Happy St. Patrick's Day

We went to church in the morning for a very special service praying for friends and family who were lost and needed Jesus. This was a very emotional service for many and really touched my heart. In fact, I prayed for family members both known and unknown for Salvation and even though I didn't mention her by name my youngest cousin Angelica received Jesus Christ into her heart on Sunday evening! Praise the Lord!

We spent the afternoon playing indoors and outdoors, cleaning and doing laundry! The fun was about to be over and that was depressing enough but to have to clean and do laundry... what a downer!

Monday morning came and went and here I am today reminiscing my wonderful break and thinking about my next one! Summer is only 52 teaching days away and 10 weeks from Friday. I cannot wait.... Can you tell?

I had an awesome break and a lot of that is thanks to Chris and the rest of my family members! Thank y'all so much!

God is good... ALL the time!

Snow Day? What is that?

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Houston, TX

69 degrees and Sunny

 

All my life I have lived in cities and towns where the weather is variable depending on the season and overall climate changes through the calendar months. Between the ages of 3 and 11 I lived in Ulysses, KS, which is on the south western side of the state in a plain area. We usually got several snow storms each year and I remember having snow drifts as high as the door handle several times. During the summer months we also had hot temperatures and lots of thunderstorms. Although I was only 8-11 years old, I do remember the temperatures and weather there. We had all 4 seasons.

 

When my family and I moved to Arp, TX in the summer of 1994 I was then thrown into the "Year-round summer" (or close to it) climate theory and thus began my years of not seeing much snow. Living in East Texas, we saw lots of warmer, hotter and even more hotter temperatures in the summer and unusually warm fall and winter seasons. I think in the 7 years I lived there, it only snowed 1 time (Maybe 2 times). During the winter it would be chilly but rarely cold. I remember shopping in the malls during the winter months and seeing sweaters and heavy coats and my family and I would laughing thinking "When are you EVER going to be able to wear that in East Texas". Usually this theory was accurate because in all those years, I think I wore a sweater maybe twice a year.

 

When I moved to Norman, OK for college in the Fall of 2001, I was then transported back to the life of enjoying all 4 seasons. I remember going to the 1st football game of the OU season and it would be BRUTALLY HOT and humid and then just 1 month later during a conference game it would be pleasant and cool. Then, once we were officially into Fall, the temps would be FREEZING COLD and I would have to wear hand warmers in my gloves and socks. And then of course, the next day would be 65 degrees. Oklahoma weather NEVER CEASED to amaze me! It was so polar opposite... OF ITSELF! I remember living in Shawnee and trying to clothe my newborn baby and having to purchase all types of clothes just for 1 season. This was a little annoying but enjoyable at the same time.

 

During our final years in Oklahoma, Chris and I lived in Shawnee, OK and the weather there was a predictable as any other Oklahoma town... meaning it changed by the minute. I do remember the terrible snow and ice storms that would come in the January and February months. In fact in 2009, 2010, and 2011 we had about 4-6 snow days each year. This was always nice because we could stay in and just relax and not have to worry about getting out. In fact, our driveway was so INCREDIBLY STEEP that it was nearly impossible to leave our house. I remember one year, Chris tried to drive to the grocery store, less than a mile away, and got stuck before he even made it out of the housing edition. The only downside to these snow days were they usually happened right before my District Band Concert Contest and I lost several days of rehearsal. However, each year that there were numerous snow days, I was still able to have my band perform at the Superior Level. It was amazing how they just knew they had to focus and perform their best. I was always especially proud of them on these years.

 

In my 6 years of teaching in Oklahoma, I think we used our designated 3 or 4 snow days each year. In fact, one year the entire state got an outrageous ice storm and the State Superintendent actually FORGAVE the days missed and we didn't have to make them up! When I worked at Bowlegs in 2005, they had a system where they built 6 snow days into their calendar as Fridays starting in Mid-April. If we didn't use them due to snow, we had EVERY FRIDAY OFF beginning in Mid-April. That was the ABSOLUTE BEST school calendar I have EVER worked under!

January 2006... Shawnee, OK

 

Over 6" Icicles

 

I felt like a kid again playing in the backyard!

 

Chris and I worked together to build two snowmen for our front yard!

 

Abbey LOVES the snow!

 

Shawnee, OK... December 2009

 

We added a member to the family since the last snow storm and she is all bundled up and ready to go outside and play!

 

Priceless memories!

 

We also added Oxford to the family... He likes the snow too!

 

 

 

 

 

Of course, now I live in Houston and it is "Year-Long Summer" once again. The summer I moved here in 2011 the average temperature through the months of June- September was 102. SERIOUSLY? Wow... But oddly enough that was the hottest summer in Oklahoma recorded history! The Fall and Winter of 2011-2012 were unusually hot even for native Houston-ians and I was disgusted at the daily temperatures. During the winter months of 2012 I think I only used a heavy coat 3 times. Only for about 1 whole months worth of days did I even need a jacket.

 

I love the mild weather during the winter months but I really do miss my snow days and the beautiful Winter Wonderland it created. I have many fond memories of playing in the snow. I really miss this about Oklahoma!

 

Y'all up there enjoy that beautiful Winter Wonderful and BE SAFE!

 

God is good... All the time!

Make Sure the Lawnmower Works...

Monday, February 25, 2013

Disclaimer: This is not meant to be a pity-party or a complaining blog but it seems that way after reviewing it. I am going to post it anyway because sometimes you just need to let it all out and get your feelings out instead of bottling them up! If you want to stop reading now... I totally understand! If you care to read on... Thank you and I covet your prayers! Thank you!

This time 2 years ago at this time I had just returned from the 2010-2011 OMEA conference in Tulsa and I was putting new procedures and practices into my band rehearsals. In fact, I was also preparing for my upcoming OSSAA District Band Contest. This particular year we were playing a very difficult contest piece and a march in 6/8 time. We had been rehearsing long and hard hours and were ready to take the stage and perform. We arrived in Konawa, OK and performed very well. We ended up getting a I- II- II on stage and a I in sight-reading, I was very disappointed but praised my kids for their hard work. Throughout that school year I had built rapport with my students better than previous years and I was really beginning to feel a sense of belonging.

I had been teaching at Grove for the past 5 years and, like most people, I had my moments of complaining and feeling like I wanted to be elsewhere but overall I went to work happy each day, being able to do what I loved to do on a daily and routine basis. This particular year at Grove, I was more involved within the staff and I was also able to be a mentor teacher to a student from OBU (who in turn took the band position when I left). In fact, it was this year at Grove that I was awarded the Teacher of the Year for the 10-11. This allowed me to also win the Pottawatomie County Teacher of Today as well as entered in the Oklahoma (statewide) Teacher of the Year program. I actually made it all the way to one of the final rounds for that contest, but since I was not going to be teaching in the state of Oklahoma the following year, I was eliminated from the competition.

It was also during this school year that I was chosen by my band directing peers to be the new Middle School Band District Honor Band Chair for the 2011-2012 school year. This position moved forward each addition year to where in 3 years I would have been the ECBDA Band President. Again, this is something I had wanted for quite some time. I was also asked by a peer during the month of April to come and adjudicate at their small school solo and ensemble contest for the following year in October. Again, it seemed like everything was finally to “flow” my way and I was very happy with my career. But somehow there was something inside me that wanted more.

Earlier in that school year the OU Pride of Oklahoma Assistant Band Director Job had come open and I was interested in the necessities to apply for it. Teaching collegiate band was a LIFELONG dream of mine and as a 28 year old veteran teacher with a Master’s degree, I wanted to see if I was qualified for the position. After researching the qualifications, I discovered that even though I was an OU alumnus and had a Master’s degree coupled with 6 years of public school teaching, I was not even able to apply for the job since all of my experience was in middle school band and not in High School Marching Band. This obviously made since to me but the fact that I could not even apply really bothered me and it was from that moment that I had a desire to move to a High School position, not because I wanted to leave Grove (I didn’t… I LOVED it there) but I wanted to have that experience in my resume for future job openings. I almost immediately developed a “Grass is greener” mentality in my mind.

At this time, Chris had been working on completing his alternative teaching certificate and was working on finalizing all of things that had to be done in order to be able to get a 1 year teaching certificate and interview for jobs. We had discussed in detail about moving to Texas to be closer to family and all my life and teaching career I had wanted to teach band in Texas. Again, I had the “Grass is greener” mentality about that whole situation. In March of 2011, Chris traveled down to Houston to go to Job Fairs and interviews for Math teaching positions. We and especially ME wanted to move to Texas so bad and at that time I really thought moving there would solve ALL my “Problems”. I didn’t have any problems actually but I thought moving to Texas and teaching band would really help set my career on the right path. I was 28 and I wasn’t getting any younger.  I would follow some of my teaching peers from OU on Facebook and look at their careers and be jealous of how far they have come since OU. I had a deep, deep desire to” move on” with my career… I didn’t even know how to do this or what it meant but I wanted it and moving to Houston was the answer in my head.

During the month of May Chris had been on several interviews in Houston and he and Natalie were away from home about 60% of the time. I knew them being gone this long would be okay in the long run though. On May 24^th we got a call from the Aldine 9^th Grade principal telling Chris he was interested in him and was going to send the memo over to the Aldine HR director to call him and offer the job. Chris and I both got really excited but knew that it was not a done deal. On Friday, May 27^th at 9:00am I got a call from Chris saying he was offered the job at Aldine 9^th as well as an additional job within Aldine ISD. I was supposed to be presenting an End of the Year Award at this time and was late. I hurried in to present the awards with tears in my eyes knowing my “Perfect” job was soon to be over. I didn’t say anything to anyone during these awards but the students, parents and my fellow teachers knew something was up because within minutes of completion of the awards ceremony, I had several people come and ask if I was ok! My dream I of teaching Band in Texas was about to come true and my family and I were moving to Texas.

That day came and went and I eventually told my fellow teachers and students about the move and said my goodbyes. The following month was crazy with trying to pack up our house in Shawnee and me traveling to and from Houston interviewing for jobs. During the month of June I had about 9 interviews for band director jobs at the middle school, junior high and high school level. I felt really good about the quantity of job interviews I was offered but the quality or lack thereof was not impressive and the 1.5 hour+ commute seemed impossible. During the late week of June I went on 2 elementary music teaching position interviews that were a little closer to home. I really didn’t want to go this route but it seemed despite the quantity of band director interviews, I was coming up short. July was approaching fast and I needed a job. On June 30^th, I was offered my current Elementary Music Teaching position and I accepted.

During my previous 2 years at my current position, I have learned new ways of teaching general elementary music and I have even created my own grade level curriculum. However, the large district make-up and the outrageous number of students I teach have left me feeling un-easy and overall unhappy. Despite my thinking of “My life will be perfect when I move to Texas” my life did not become perfect and that feeling of I wanted more from my career got bigger and bigger and BIGGER!

I put my name out there in the Elementary Music world so if Chris and I decided to have another baby, I would not be crazy busy with Band things like sectionals and extra rehearsals and be able to spend time with the new baby. In June 2012 David Luke Davis entered the world and became part of our family and for that reason alone my life has become perfect with him in it! I was able to take 3 months off from teaching in the Fall of 2012 and return to work in November 2012. When I returned to work in November a lot had changed and a lot more time before and after school and all of the sudden I was working Band hours but still at an elementary music teaching position. I have a Master’s degree and have a vast knowledge of instrumental music and band directorship and I am unable to use it. When I wake up each morning all I can think about is “I should be somewhere else”. I am unhappy in my current position and there are times where I think the whole move to Texas was a wrong move and the only good thing to come of it was Luke. Of course I know this is not true because we were in “Dire Straits” financially in the later months of Chris’ unemployment and were literally months away from eviction I sure. Now we live in a 3400 sq ft home that is even better than I pictured in my head. Our little family is complete and I could not be happier in that realm of my life. Yet somehow I absolutely dread going to work and literally feel depressed in my career. There were many teachers at Grove that had to take depression and anxiety medicine and I always thought, “How bad could it be?”  Now I understand why they were taking medication and I honestly feel I should be put on some.

In all of my frustrations and depression of my job and I am thinking the same thoughts as I did at Grove in thinking that “The Grass is greener on the other side”. I could write another blog post about the craziness and demands of my job (Non-music related) but I feel like ANYTHING is better than my current situation. I still have the desire and longing to teach band but I almost feel as if my attitude being the same as before is going to get me into the same type of situation I am in now. I heard a saying once “Make sure the lawnmower works before you go over to the greener grass.” Sure the grass may be greener but what all does “Greener Grass” entail?

In nearly 8 years of teaching I have never EVER felt like I am in the wrong profession and I havent ever NOT liked going to work every day. In addition, I have always felt like I am making a difference SOMEHOW on the students’ lives. Almost every day this year I have felt as if I am just going to work to pay the bills. That passion for teaching and students has disappeared and I am for the first time ever depressed with my career (almost to the point of medication… I think).

As the job hunt season opens and I begin to look for a new job, I would appreciate any and all prayers. I know this blog was unique in the sense that I really just laid out my feelings and frustrations with my current situation and my hopes and dreams for the future. I did not know this time 2 years ago where I would be today. I certainly didn’t think I would be in an inner-city school teaching 40 kids at a time elementary music. But I also didn’t know I would have the world’s most adorable and handsome 9 month-old EVER! I am blessed and I need to count my blessings… name them one by one! Growing up and practicing my saxophone nightly I would play “God is in Control” and I would reflect on the words of this song and their meaning. All I can think of right now are the words to this song…

God is in Control
He believes that His children will not be forsaken
God is in Control
We will choose to remember and never be shaken
There is no power above or beside Him, We know
God is in Control.

In I must remember in ANY situation
God is GOOD… All the time!

TMEA 2013... Success!

Monday, February 18, 2013

Reflections from another great year at TMEA

San Antonio, TX 

 

This is looking over the main Exhibit hall... This picture DOES NOT do it justice! This thing is HUGE!

 

I went to San Antonio again this year for the 2013 Texas Music Educators Association Clinic and Conference. This year I stayed by myself and pretty much was by myself the duration of the trip. I met up with some other teachers from my district on Wednesday evening as soon as I arrived in San Antonio for dinner and I also met up with several friends from college for lunches and drinks throughout my stay in San Antonio.  I had a great time just catching up with some old friends and acquaintances from OU and even UCO while at TMEA. I also was able to talk to my college Band Director, whom I had not even spoken to or heard from in nearly 10 years. This was just the boost and “pep talk” I needed to make it through the year. I did not however, see my high school band director or other Band Director friends from High School and I had usually seen them in years past.

 

This trip started out a little crazy because I left my school at 1:30pm on Wednesday in order to make the district dinner with the other music teachers. I realized just past Katy that I had forgotten several things either back at my campus or my house. Of course, at that stage it was too late and too far to turn around and get them. These were minor things like the schedule I had created for the conference left on my desk and some toiletries I had left at my house. Both of which could be either purchased at a drug store of looked up online. However, after the 3.5 hour drive into San Antonio I arrived at my downtown River-walk Hotel, valet parked and then went into the lobby to check in. There was a long line of other band directors and music educators as well as High School All-State students checking in so I had to wait a little while. After a few minutes of waiting it was my turn and the check-in process began. I showed the attendant my State Employee (School District) form and other necessary papers and then she asked to see my ID. I began to look through my wallet and purse frantically and could not find it. I had just changed purses so I was unfamiliar with this purse and all its hiding places so I put my luggage and other items down and began to REALLY look for it. After a minute or two she said “We just need your ID number so when you find it, come back and let me see it”. At this point I was totally freaking out because my ID is still an Oklahoma driver’s license and if it is lost or stolen I would have to retake the written and driving portions of the test in order to get it switched over to a Texas Driver’s License. I immediately called Chris and asked if he knew where it was. During the conversation (And the tears that were forming) I remembered that back on December 30^th Chris, his family and I went to a bowl game in downtown Houston and I had asked Chris to put my ID in his wallet so I would not have to take a purse into the Football game. Sure enough, Chris had my ID in his wallet. My fear and anxiety disappeared but the blonde feeling did not. I had driven all the way to San Antonio and to and from work for nearly 2 months WITHOUT an ID! Thank the Lord; I had not been pulled over. In fact, I had just driven the night before to Buffalo to drop my kids off with Gigi Shirley and Poppy! It is seriously amazing I had not gotten stopped! It was a true ACT OF GOD! Thank you, Lord!

 

While at TMEA I attended several conferences and clinics about Elementary Music and how to incorporate Orff instruments and drums into your EVERYDAY teaching. I have been working with Orff instruments for about a month but I need a boost in department and I knew TMEA would deliver. I was able to attend about 7 clinics about drums and Orff instruments and I have already began using these learned techniques in my classes since returning and my kids LOVE THEM!

 

This year has been incredibly difficult for me due to many reasons ranging from Campus and District changes and demands as well as personal reasons such as wanting to stay at home with my baby! But TMEA really helped lift my spirits and gave me the push and DESIRE to make it to the end of the year and honestly re-lit the passion I have for teaching. There have been many days here in the recent past where I have not enjoyed my job at all and even question if I should be teaching anymore. Not just at my current campus but at all. This really breaks my heart because I have wanted to teach since I can remember. I told a friend of mine while having drinks in San Antonio that I basically decided I was going to teach band when I was 15 years old and I have never looked back since… UNTIL NOW! The clinicians and clinics at TMEA really reminded me why I got into this field in the first place and really helped me get my “blinders” on and get back to business.

 

As usual, I saw some pretty interesting things while at TMEA. The exhibit hall was as BIG as ever with 2 FULL Exhibit halls and the need to have a 3^rd. I was blown away last year at how BIG it had become in the 8 years since I had returned to TMEA but it seemed liked it had gotten even bigger just since last year’s conference in 2012. The best thing I saw while visiting the exhibits were Beethoven and Mozart Action Figures. I am new to the whole BOY-DEPARTMENT and I am not familiar with Action Figures but these were AWESOME! They had removable outfits and WIGS as well as a small (very small) workbook about each composer and a listening CD. This was so cool and I purchased 4 to give away at the end of the year. I know some of the students in my school would think it is lame but there are some that would really like them so I got a few. I should have purchased some for Natalie and Luke as well but I did not. There were really cool and I hope they stay around until Luke is old enough to play with them.

 

This is SO COOL!

 

I love this idea... I should create something like this and market it!

 

 

 

 I also purchased some Music Flip-flops and a new Music teacher shirt to wear to school. In addition, I bought a little "Band" for my kids! I got a cheap plastic tambourine, an echo microphone, some maracas and even some claves and rhythm sticls for them to play with when I got home. You know, it was quiet when I left but when I got back... NO SILENCE WAS TO BE FOUND IN MY HOUSE! I dont think my poor hubby appreciated this! But you know what, he played with them anyway! I love my honey! Thank you Chris for being such an AWESOME daddy!

 

"The Davis Band"! They are my little musicians!

 

 

Overall, my trip to San Antonio was a blast and I am looking forward to next year’s convention already. Thank you, Lord for allowing me to go and for keeping me safe without an ID.

 

God is good… All the time!

My Growing Boy: Month 8

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

 

Another month has passed by and my little boy is no so little anymore. He is crawling and moving around so much and is becoming a little boy and not a baby! In just a few short months I will be planning a Birthday Party for my little guy! That is so hard to believe.

 

Feeding
This month I introduced Meat to Luke and he seemed to like it! He had 2 teeth come in this month (on top) and he was teething alot, the poor little guy just drooled and drooled! I swear he would put anything in his mouth. He would come up to me and try to pull off my sock and eat it (YUCK)! The meats like Chicken and Turkey had large vegetables and even pasta in them so this made him have to chew a little bit to be able to swallow them. At first he would gag but since then he will just chew and then swallow. This chewing also allowed him to try out the little "PUFFS" and he seems to like them (A litte!) I also started giving him juice at about 7.5 months. He didnt really like it at first but this was during a small tummy bug he had so he was thirsty anyways. Since this bug, I give him about 4-6 ounces of 1/2 and 1/2 (Water and apple juice) in a SIPPY CUP and he seems to really like it! He still gets the majority of his nutricion from Nutramigen but we are hoping to be able to switch back to regular formula SOON!

 

Here he is trying to find a way to get down...

 

 

Sleeping

During the middle part of January, Luke had a little bit of a stomach bug and was not sleeping as well but overall he is still sleeping his usual 10 hours each night. He is also getting more use to his naptime routine at MDO and is sleeping about 1.5-2 hours twice daily. Since becoming more mobile he is figuring out how to get out of his swaddle blanket and is starting to move around in his crib (at least rolling around alot). I figure here pretty soon he will be able to completly get out of his swaddle blanket and pull up on his crib. I have already lowered his crib but I have a feeling I will be moving it to the lowest level here pretty soon!

 

I am raising the next "Lukey (Johnny) Football"
Of course this Heisman Winner will be playing at OU or LSU not nasty A&M!

 

He loves playtime with his football!

 

So... umm... I am supposed to do what with this?

 

 

Playtime

On January 15th he pulled up in his crib and since then he has been pulling up everywhere. He even uses the bare wall to try to stand up. He has taken a few steps along the couch while holding on but I am not going to classify these few steps as "Cruising" just yet. I think with Luke once he "cruises" he will be walking within  month (OR LESS)! He is going to be my active child I am afraid... Natalie is active but not like this! He wants to get into EVERYTHING! He has started to pull up on Natalie's shopping cart and is even trying to walk along with it as it rolls along the carpet!

My BIG boy... 8 months old!
 

 

In late January we took hgim and Natalie to the Houston Zoo and Luke LOVED it! He would just look around and try to take it all in. He did so well eating and sleeping even while "out and about" and I think he really enjoyed it! The monekys were VERY active early in the morning and were talking to us as we walked by. Natalie and Daddy started to immitate them and Luke would just laugh and laugh. It was SO cute... But by the time I got my phone out to video it... he had stopped (Figures right?)

 

Just monkeying around at the Houston Zoo

 

01-26-13: I am so blessed!

 

 

He has already completed 2/3 of a full year of life and I cannot believe how fast it is happening. I know that these next 4 months will fly by so fast (Especially since it is spring) and before you know it he will be 1 year old!

SLOW DOWN LUKE!

God is Good... All the time!