My Journey to 2017-2018

MY BAKER'S DOZEN

August 2017

The Woodlands, TX

I'm going to file this under "no one cares" but people have been asking so...

I have had some friends (good, church friends) ask me recently why I have gained weight and why I look so sad and tired. Geez, thanks y'all. But to answer their questions... I am stressed, anxious and just straight up depressed. There is no other way to say it! And it is all based around my job. I am not where I want to be in my career, I'm bored in my current situation, I am burnt (burning) out and feel as if I could do SO MUCH more! I am not making a difference (or so I feel) like I did when I was teaching band! 

This past year, 2016-2017, was my 12th year of teaching overall and my 6th year teaching in the great state of Texas. While teaching in Oklahoma, I taught band and elementary music. When Chris and I moved to Texas in 2011 I was unable to find a band job... close by or one that I was "advised" to take. In fact, during the summer of 2011 I interviewed for 8 band jobs in and around the Houston metro area. I was offered and turned down 4 of those jobs due to commute from Conroe, desirable district or economic status of the school and other various reasons. On June 30, 2011 I was offered an elementary music teacher position in Spring ISD and I accepted. Since then I have been trying EVERY summer to get back into band with NO LUCK! This summer was the worst.

Luke was born the summer after my 1st year teaching in Texas and even though I looked for a band job every summer since he was born without any luck, I knew that the year HE went into Kindergarten would be the best year to transition back so even though I would get rejections in the past I kept telling myself that "my time will come" and "Luke needs to stay in Sharpen's class". Well... Luke starts Kindergarten in 15 days and I still don't have a band job!

This past school year was THE HARDEST year of my career and I was put into several very difficult situations. I knew that the time had come and it was lining up perfectly for MY plan so even in February I started the whole application process as it is lengthy. By mid-April I was interviewing and dreaming of the perfect relaxed summer with no worries and planning for my new band job. Ha... God saw it another way.

My road and journey to 2017-2018. (district and campus names have been abbreviated)

April

MISD- KES Elementary Music

This is a very prestigious district and voted THE best in the entire Houston metro area. It is very difficult to get into so even getting an interview is a HUGE deal. This was for a brand new elemtnary school. I was coached by a past admin of mine who lives in and has taught in the district. I spent hours being coached by her and took advice from other MISD teacher I knew getting ready for this interview. While it was not band, it would have been an ideal situation for my kids. Even though I felt the interview went really well, and I even left the interview saying "that was the best interview ever", I did not get offered the position.

CISD- B. Intermediate Band 

In April I began talking to a colleague of mine that I know from church who mentioned that this might be the year for me to get a band job in the very prestigious and hard to get into CISD. I waited patiently for positions to open and then applied. Within weeks I was interviewing for my friend's positon. In fact, he even coached me on what to say and how to act in the interview. I prayed and prayed over this specific job and lost so much sleep. I just knew, in fact we all felt this was THE job. I impressed everyone on this committee except the Fine Arts Director who even called me out on a few things happening in my own district. I got a call a few days later that despite my friend going to bat for me and pulling lots of strings, I just couldn't land this DREAM job!

The same day I had this interview I had a separate elementary music interview within NCISD.

NCISD- PES Elementary Music

The elementary music interview went well but I didn't want it so I was very loose and not nervous at all. In fact, when I arrived at the interview the assistant principal told me that the interview was supposed to be the day before. This was in a school that was very old and run down (the admin told me the AC and heater don't work well) and the budget was limited. I asked NCISD friends who said it was not a good school and not a great situation to step into. The economic status was the same as my current school and it was going to be a complete lateral move. Of course, the principal called and offered me the job the following day and then sent me a very encouraging text the 2nd day. After almost a week of praying and debating the pros and cons, I turned down that job. (Still may be the biggest mistake of the summer and this journey). 

May

CISD- DK-6ES Elementary Music AND Band

This was a weird position that I am HIGHLY qualified for as it is a K-6 music AND band position in The Woodlands on the very nice side of CISD. I also felt in this interview that I impressed the committee but once again the CISD Fine Arts Director was on the interview committee. I waited to hear back from this job for almost 3 weeks only to find out via email that the FA director chose someone else.

WISD- BMS Band (my current district)

I found out about this job opening DURING a previous interview. I called our head band director and asked him about it and then applied. The interview was VERY casual, almost to a fault, and I just knew and felt it was a "courtesy" interview. I have tried to get a band job within my own district for the past 5 summers with no luck. In fact, I took my current position because this same band director told me he would "consider" me in the future. Well that is all he ever did... consider! That ship has sailed and while I am upset about it, it is what it is.

TISD- CSPJH Band

I had a very late interview at TISD with a fellow OU graduate who was the head director at this very wealthy and brand new junior high. I really wanted this job and this district in particular has always been on my radar to work for. I felt the interview went well and I felt that I impressed this Fine Arts Director. I knew not to hold my breath but I felt with connections and my solid interview, that I would get a call about that job. About a week after the interview the FA director emailed me saying I was still in the running which gave me hope but shortly after they contacted me explaining they chose someone else. For whatever reason, this one hit hard and was the beginning of my full on depression.

CISD- SES Elementary MusicThis was a very wealthy and "high economic status" elementary school in Conroe. I had little knowledge about the campus going into the interview but fell in love with the admin and campus. It was a campus I felt I could retire at if need be. Once again, I felt like it was a good interview and I felt like I knew the answers to all of their questions thanks to more coaching from past admins. It took 3 weeks to hear back from them but it was then I learned that I did not get this job either.

HISD- MPJH Band

I got a phone call from a band director in this district one Sunday afternoon out of the blue. I talked to him for nearly an hour and was very open and honest about my past situation (unable to land a band job) and my goals moving forward. This was a very large program and the staff had 6 other directors each from a major university. I had a face-to-face interview with 5 of the band directors a week later. I felt the interview went well but the district was smaller than my current one and the pay was not as much but I wanted a band job so it didn't matter. I got an actual call from the Head Band Director the last week of May that they chose someone else. "You were great and we all really enjoyed your but I just feel this is not the job for you". I had mixed emotions about this one but there it was... rejection #7 and it was only May.

CFISD- HES Elementary Music

This was an inner city urban elementary school in one of the largest districts in the Houston metro. I liked the principal but not the campus. The admin called and told me she chose someone else within a day.

June

KISD- NES Elementary Music

This was another large district in the North Houston metro area. The school was newer and nicer than my present campus but the students and clientele was much worse. I would have a lot like my first 2 years in Texas when I taught at Spring. They chose someone else and even though it was an elementary job, rejection #8 hit hard yet again.

AISD- Engineering Magnet Elementary Music

This was in a very familiar district as Chris has taught in this district for the past 6 years. I knew it was not a district I truly wanted to be in but I took the interview anyway. The principal liked me so much so told me she was going to pass my name along to HR for them to offer it to me. I also had an interview with the "Director of Music Education" who is VERY well known in the elementary music teaching world and I liked her a lot but I was reminded that I do not want to be a hard core elementary music teacher. This district also had TERRIBLE insurance (as we now know FOR SURE as we have to pay an arm AND A LEG for Chris's foot surgery) and the cost of the insurance would have eaten up the $3K pay raise. They offered me the job but I declined due to the insurance costs and overall dislike of the district ( I would NOT have put my kids in this district... YIKES).

MISD- MES/LES Elementary Art

This was an interview was for a position teaching ART but this district is very well known and a great district to work for and the fine arts department is amazing so I applied anyway. I took the interview not knowing it was a split teaching job between two of the furthest elementary from my house. The committee had the Fine Arts director and an admin from each of the 2 schools. I did not feel as confident in this interview as others because it was for ART. But oddly enough, they called and offered me the job within 10 minutes of leaving the interview. I turned this down knowing that I could NEVER get back in band if I took this route.

The Fine Arts director liked me a lot and within a week called me and asked me to interview for a different elementary music positon within the district. I talked with him for a long time explaining my desire to be a band director not elementary music teacher but he told me I was a leader and he wanted a leader. I took the interview. 

MISD- SES Elementary Music
I went on the interview the Fine Arts director got for me and was very honest with the interviewing admin. I like the admin and the campus as well as the district and obviously, this was THE best Fine Arts director I have come into contact with. I had a great conversation with the admin and explained my "mid-life career crisis" and she too said I was a leader. I explained I was working on my admin certificate and she said that is the route I should take. She called explaining she chose someone else but the message she left me was my only saving grace from the entire summer.

I AM a born leader and I could do so much more and she saw that within the hour interview we had. I appreciate her encouragement to me and may have to listen to her voicemail frequently to get through this year.

I have no idea why I was not able to get/take any of these 13 jobs but GOD KNOWS. I do not know why I am at CCH but GOD KNOWS. I have no idea how I will get through this year with a good attitude or contentment but GOD KNOWS. I do not know how I will lose the weight I gained through this journey but GOD KNOWS. 

I have to report back in less than a week to start a brand new year. My Natalie will be in 3rd grade and my BABY Luke starts kindergarten. This will be my 13th year of teaching and you know what they say... A BAKERS DOZEN is always better!

Cheers to 2017-2018! 

God is good... All the time! 

A Dozen Years in Education

2016-2017 School Year 

The Woodlands, Texas 

The "Backstory"

This school year was my 12th year of teaching, my 6th year in the great state of Texas and my 4th year in my current district. During my 12 years in education I have taught beginning, middle school, high school, marching and even jazz bands. I have also taught elementary music ALL 12 of those years. For the past 4 years I have also worn the "art" hat and taught art as well as theater arts TEKS and helped maintain a campus art department. I have been the district Honor Choir co-director in both of my Texas school districts and have helped developed full curriculums and programs for this organization. In addition, I have received numerous grants and awards as well as being named the "Teacher of the Year" and "Teacher of Today" in the 2010-2011 school year. 

On paper I have it all and have had some pretty FANTASTIC experiences during these 12 years. But as I enter my 13th year I am realizing that it is more than just a good resume... It's WHO you know! And I have learned that I may just not have what it takes. 

You see, I have always wanted to be a band director. In fact, I knew in my sophomore year of high school that I wanted to be a band director and help change the lives of many students as my high school directors did for me. I entered college with a clear major and path and did a 140 hour/ 5 year degree in just 4 years and was eager to get out there. During my time in Oklahoma I taught at 2 districts and taught both elementary music AND band, including both beginning and high school bands. I developed and grew my band program from 40 to over 100 students and made a well known name for myself and my campus during my tenure. When Chris accepted his teaching position at Aldine ISD in 2011 I just knew I would land an amazing Texas Band job and life would be PERFECT!

HOWEVER...

The summer of 2011 came and went and it was late June and I did not have band job leads. I had been offered 4 different band positions but they were all about 1.5 hours away from our temporary residence in Conroe, TX where we would be living with my in-laws  or they were in TERRIBLE parts of Houston ISD and I was just too scared to take them thinking I would land something closer to home. (Rosenburg ISD, Pasadena ISD, Anauac ISD and Cesar Chavez HS in HISD).  I got nervous again so I decided to apply for elementary music positions as well. Within 2 days of applying for elementary music jobs I was interviewing and was offered a job in a large district in north Houston just 20 minutes from our residence. I accepted the offer and thought "Well at least my foot is in the door". Ha... little did I know what would happen next! 

During my first year at Spring ISD I became pregnant unexpectedly with our 2nd child, Luke. I had Luke during the summer of 2012 and oddly enough was offered a band director position while still at the hospital after having him. This position was at a very wealthy and fancy private school in Conroe but would not have maternity leave and the pay was about 1/3 of what I would be making at a public school so Chris and I turned down that offer. 

A year later I interviewed for a few band jobs, one within my current district, and was rejected for each. (Pearland ISD, WISD and Huntsville ISD). I did land on my feet within WISD as an elementary Fine Arts teacher at my current position. The head band director advised me to stay in district so when new band jobs came open he would consider me. Well that is all he ever did as in the past 4 years there have been 5 different openings and I have not gotten one of them including this past year. I have been patient but the heart wants what the heart wants and MY HEART wants to teach band and obviously God has different plans. 

That is the "back story" but here is this year's experience:

2016-2017 School Year- CCH 

This year started off very well after what would be labeled as the BEST SUMMER EVER! I came back refreshed and mentally ready for another year of molding students. The year began well with a new administrator who I respected and was doing a tremendous job "flipping" our campus. After Thanksgiving she resigned and we got a new administrator, who also did a good job with our campus. 

Shortly after Thanksgiving my co-teacher, the PE Coach, got injured and remained out of pocket for the rest of the school year. This meant I had to do my job and her job. Later in the spring semester my PE aide also went out on an injury which then left me with a team of myself, 1 aide and the rest were subs. This was exhausting to say the least but I made it work and these subs actually helped me so much in the end and are now true friends. 

As the rest of the fall semester and spring semesters would pan out I would be doing multiple jobs and many that were not only mine or my teaching partners but also campus wide improvement or administrative jobs as well. I became the "Git R Done" girl and all excess jobs or demands just naturally fell on me (I AM good at that though... Seriously, if you want it done and done RIGHT, give it to me).  This might have dug my own grave in the district as these many duties caused minor issues for me in the Spring semester. I was hardly focusing on my own music and art job at all. The stress and more so the frustration was getting to me and I started to gain weight. By the end of the year and time of this post I had gained 25 pounds or more and depression had started to sink in like never before. 

In March I knew it was time to move on and this next year (2017-2018) Luke would be in Kindergarten and out of the advanced PreK program (which was part of my "plan") so I began to apply for band jobs yet again after the previous summer just not having the emotional stamina. I had a great lead with a friend from church at a school in my current town which was all but a shoe-in, or at least I thought. Then I got rejection #1 in late April and took it VERY hard. I had a very bad attitude but kept praying and tried to keep the faith. 

Shortly after that rejection I was offered a job at a local district not far from my house but it was for elementary music and not band. The whole situation was not what I wanted and would be a lateral move and after nearly a week of praying and deliberating I turned down the offer. This may come back to bite me in the butt but it is what it is. 

The month of May came and I was crazy busy with end of the year programs of my own plus those of my teaching partner. It literally was the most hectic and stressful close of a year of my entire career. I was holding events like musicals, field day, End of Year Awards, Talent Show and other school wide fundraising events like Staff Basketball games.

Meanwhile my husband was asked to come and interview at the most prestigious district near us and while there was not a single HS math job open at the time of the interview, because of his amazing STAAR scores and personality (I have always said you either love him or hate him... and they, and me too, LOVED him) they offered him a job. After prayer and deliberation he accepted the offer and will now have his dream job in a dream district. Chris's personality is just to teach and do his thing without advancement or recognition at all... pretty much what I do currently. All the meanwhile, I am dying to get noticed and offered a job. 

The month of May continued and I do not know how I did it looking back but during the stress, turmoil and chaos of this month I still found time to interview for 6 more positions, 5 of which were band director positions, and got 6 more rejections by the end of the month, many of which I was notified by email (Conroe ISD, WISD, Tomball ISD, Hunstville ISD).  My own district didn't even let me know they filled the position, I found out via small town gossip. 

So here we are first day of June and I have no offers and barely any leads. I have gotten emails from local Fine Arts directors explaining the high level of candidates applying for the same jobs I am. I have cried more in the past 6 weeks than the past 6 years combined. I feel burned out in education and especially my current position yet it looks like I will have another year of this come August. I feel like a terrible wife crying over "spilled milk" all while my AMAZING hubby is smiling in his new position and chapter in his life. I am depressed and quite frankly losing my faith. 

I am sitting here praying and listening to my favorite "Songs of Faith" saying "Wherever He leads I'll go" and I truly mean that but it still hurts. Today, I looked at the help wanted ads for REAL jobs... REALLY? Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be where I am at 12 years ago. Even 6 years ago I just knew I would be directing bands and life would be "perfect".
That was my plan... Not His! 

I have no idea where I will be come August and I hope in the next  7 weeks I can keep the faith and change my bad attitude. There is lots of other personal stuff going on as well and I know this is a TEST. I fear I do not have what it takes to teach band in this area of Texas or the whole state for that matter. I feel that I will never get over this want and desire to teach band and not elementary music and will live miserable in my career for the remaining 18-20 years. I am embarrassed in my own district for yet again not being selected (which really means I am not viewed as a good enough teacher) for the past 4 years of openings. I am depressed... I am praying daily and continuously. What else can I do? I know how to keep the faith. I was born and raised in the church and am literally a faithful Christian yet I feel so lost? My current pastor preached a sermon once saying "When the going gets tough, you just keep doing what you know to do". I know to keep the faith and I know GOD is in control! 

My tag line is always GOD IS GOOD... ALL THE TIME and I DO believe this but it seems so cliche right about now. I KNOW He is good and He is good ALL the time. Even in the VALLEY... I know this and I believe this, but why am I not feeling it? 

Chris tells me all the time that I need to LEARN to be happy. My mother used to tell me to "Bloom where you are planted". I guess they are both right... I need to be happy in my current situation and CONTINUE (because I DO count my blessings and name them one by one) to be grateful for all I have, including the ACTUAL job I DO have and my beautiful family, home and friends as well as many other things. Thank You, Jesus for these and many other blessings YOU have given to me. 

I am sure there are readers who are rolling their eyes or who have already stopped reading 10 paragraphs ago and will bash and condemn me both in private and in public but this is how I feel. I have learned in my adult years, that when I share my personal feelings, frustrations and thoughts is when I get in trouble the most but I guess I needed to get it off my chest. Judge me, condemn me or bash me if you feel the need but this is how I currently FEEL... please forgive me! 

I am going to continue to do what I KNOW to do, which is have my quiet time and pray to my God and Saviour. I do not know what will happen in the next few weeks but God does so I will just go and try to get rid of my attitude, find my faith again and try to enjoy my short, small summer. 

It is my tag line, I believe it and I will say it yet again... 

God is Good... ALL the time (Even in the valley).